I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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