Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
