you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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