sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
