My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
