Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
