so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
