whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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