What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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