Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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