I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
