Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
