The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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