i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize