I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
