Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
