oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's blow job season.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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