you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
