she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize