brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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