Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
