Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
