If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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