no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
