In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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