I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just found a bag of teeth...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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