YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
