Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
