Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So many bounce houses so little time
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
