fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
