Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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