What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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