remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize