really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
