dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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