Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have post one night stand depression
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
