There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
