I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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