Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
