foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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