Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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