This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
