im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
