Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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