I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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