Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
