and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
