Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
