Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
