I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
