i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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