I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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