You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
