Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
