He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
