half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
