You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
