opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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