So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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