gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize